


Elevator Eavesdrop (Or Lack Thereof)

by HermioneSpencer



Series: The Dearth Collection [5]
Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: F/F, We all know that very good things can happen in lifts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-25
Updated: 2016-05-25
Packaged: 2018-06-10 16:19:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6963994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HermioneSpencer/pseuds/HermioneSpencer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A lift AU.  'Nuff said.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Elevator Eavesdrop (Or Lack Thereof)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SianRuns](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SianRuns/gifts).



> For my pal Sian, a legend. A leg-end. A foot.

Mornings were never Cosima’s thing, but today seemed to be an exception.  She had got out of bed the _minute_ her alarm had woken her, she had _enjoyed_ the banana she ate for breakfast, and she had made it in _on time_ into work at the DYAD Institute.  Everything about it was distinctly bizarre and she wasn’t sure what to make of it.  This feeling was only reinforced by the situation she found herself in at that moment.

“Good morning, Doctor Niehaus.”

Doctor Delphine Cormier was waiting for the elevator with her, and they were both so early that there was _no one_ else there. 

“And to you too, Doctor Cormier!”  _Too eager._

Cosima had had a crush on the Doctor for a very long time.  They knew each other, but they didn’t work together, only worked on the same floor.  They weren’t that friendly, but they weren’t _unfriendly_ , either.  This situation made Cosima excited, as this would mean she would get to spend one glorious minute in Delphine’s company, totally privately.  She tried not to think about how awkward it would be, and instead focussed on how she could _already_ hear Delphine’s steady breathing – or, at least, she _thought_ she could.

The elevator dinged and the doors opened unto them, letting them both in, and they smiled at each other.  Delphine pressed the _6_ , the floor that they both worked on.  Cosima, for some reason unknown to anyone, including herself, stepped forward and pressed the number _10_ instead, winking at Delphine as she moved back from the buttons.  Delphine blushed and looked at the floor.  The doors were just about to close when they both heard shoes clacking on the floor outside and an arm reached in just in time to stop the doors from closing fully.

After a lot of mumbling and grumbling and sweating and awkward grinning, Scott’s cheesy face revealed itself.  Delphine held down the button that kept the doors opened to allow Scott to recuperate himself, laugh, and then _finally_ get in.  Cosima could have killed him.  _Not private anymore…_

“Um- thanks, Dr Cormier,” he grinned.

“ _De rien_.”

The doors closed again, and the elevator dipped and then started upwards.

Cosima gave Scott her best death glare, but he didn’t notice.  Instead, in his oblivious manner, he started talking _far_ too loudly for socially acceptable elevator volume.

“Hey, Cosima!  I wanted to catch you before work started.”  He looked at her properly, grinning so widely that Cosima thought it _must_ have hurt.  “Agricola competition, tomorrow evening, everyone’s gonna be there.”  He seemed _way_ too excited about it.

“Mediaeval farm building?” she grimaced, really resenting Scott making her look like such an idiot in front of Dr Cormier, who was politely attempting to ignore their conversation, but not succeeding.  “I thought we stopped that back in the 15th century,” she mumbled, and Dr Cormier let out a tiny, almost unnoticeable snort.  Cosima’s eyes flicked towards the blonde’s, and they shared a moment of appreciated humour.

Cosima attempted, through all methods of non-verbal communication, to let Scott know that he should stop talking _now_ , but he didn’t get it.

“Come _on_ , Cosima, I know that you’re having trouble with Hell Wizard because of your sister, but he has _promised_ that he won’t make any more moves!  The _only_ moves he will make will be playing Agricola.  I promise as well-”

The elevator shuddered, groaned, and then stopped entirely.

“Oh no…” Cosima groaned, but only because she knew what would come next.  Scott’s face turned white, then, red, then icy blue, all in an incredibly short space of time.  It was impressive, really.  “Okay, Scott, before you go mad, just remember to _breathe_ , alright-”

She may as well not have said anything, because Scott fainted right then and there, slumping to the floor of the elevator.

“ _Merde_ , that was quick!” Dr Cormier gasped.  Both she and Cosima knelt down beside the fallen Scott, checking that he was okay – or, at least, not _dead_.  He seemed okay, but they moved him to sit up against the wall, closest to the doors so that he would be the first out when they would be able to leave.

_Well, at least it’s private again…_

Cosima turned to the control bad on the wall of the lift and held down the help button, waiting to get through to someone that would help them sort it out.  It took a matter of seconds for Cosima to tell the person on the other end what had happened, and she calmly sat down when she was done, next to Scott, who seemed to be breathing steadily.  Dr Cormier sighed, and then sat down next to her. 

“I suppose there is an upside to this,” the blonde woman looked cynically at Cosima.

“What’s that?” Cosima asked, secretly blessing the way things did seem to be turning out today.

“We’re still going to be early for work.”  Cosima laughed out loud because that sentence simply made no sense to her.

“You know, I haven’t been early to work for at least a year,” she mused, wondering what made today so different.

“I know!”  Dr Cormier laughed.  “I see you running in past my lab every morning!”

Cosima blushed.

“Every morning?”

“ _Oui._   It can be the highlight of my day.  But when you work with Aldous Leekie, that isn’t much of a challenge to beat.”  They both nodded sagely.  Cosima knew full well how awful Leekie could be to work with.  His passion for the subjects they worked on was unparalleled, but his totalitarianism was most certainly a challenge to work with.

“Well, Dr Cormier-”

“Oh, Delphine, please!”

Cosima opened her mouth to respond, but at that moment, Delphine’s phone started ringing.

_She looks like a goddess and she gets phone calls in elevators?  This woman is magical._

“Sorry,” Delphine looked at her apologetically, glanced at the phone and then rejected the call.

“Oh no, please don’t ignore the person on my behalf!” Cosima bit the inside of her cheek nervously.

“Oh no, it is not important.  What were you going to say?” Delphine asked, looking at Cosima inquisitively.

“Oh, um, I was going to mention how whilst I may provide some morning entertainment for your lab, you actually provide some fun for the scientists in my lab.”

Delphine’s brows furrowed, looking at her curiously, but then her phone rang again.

“Hmmm.  She is going to carry on calling.  Please excuse me,” Delphine grimaced and then answered the phone, standing up and moving one step to the other side of the elevator.  “ _Allô?_ ” she spoke into the phone. 

Cosima tried not to listen, but she couldn’t help hearing the voice on the other end loud and clear.  She tried not to make it clear, instead revelling in this unique chance to get a bit of insight into Delphine’s personal life.

_“Delphiiiine!  I’m here!  I need your help, I don’t know what to do!”_

“Already?  Why so soon?  Do you _know_ what time it is?” Delphine answered, speaking as quietly as she could.

_“Totally!  I just don’t have to be at the salon for at least an hour, and I was around town, so here I am!”_

“Oh.  I see.  Well then, good.  Call me back when you’re done, okay?  I can’t really talk right now.”

 _“No, wait!  Delphine!  I need your_ help! _I’ve been here twenty minutes, and I have no idea what to do!”_

“Krystal…” Delphine held the bridge of her nose tightly, “What makes you think _I_ have any more idea than you?  We are both new to this.”

 _“I get that, that’s totally fine and everything, but I, like,_ need _to ask you some questions.”_

“Questions?”

_“How thick?”_

“How- Oh God, Krystal, I don’t _know!_   How – um – do _you_ think?”

_“I’m thinking, like, medium deodorant can size?”_

Cosima could see Delphine blush a very deep red.  The brunette pulled her knees up to her chest and used her hand to cover the massive grin that had covered her face, hiding how funny she was finding this conversation.  She deflated and seemed to just agree because it was easier.

“I agree, Krystal, you are absolutely right.”

_“Well thank you, babe!”_

“No problem.  Are you done?”

_“No.  I have another question.  Plain, ribbed, or veined?”_

Delphine’s eyes shot open wider, which was almost impossible.

“Krystal… is that a real question?”

 _“Yes, Delphine!  I’ve been speaking to the person who works here, and they say that even though veined ones are the least visually appealing, they will_ actually _give you the most pleasure because-”_

“I understand.  Go with that then.”

 _“Okay, now,_ colour- _”_

“Krystal, I gave you one job.  Do it yourself.  I _can’t_ have this conversation right now.”  And with that, he ended the phone call.  Huffing, she sat back next to Cosima, who was still hiding her face with her arm.  “Sorry about-”

Delphine was interrupted as Cosima guffawed so loudly that they were both surprised that Scott didn’t wake up.  “Cosima?”

Despite the strange feeling that shot through Cosima’s body at her name coming out of Delphine’s mouth, she couldn’t stop laughing. 

After a few minutes of Delphine asking self-consciously hat she was laughing at, Cosima finally calmed down.  She turned to Delphine slowly, training her still upward-curling mouth in obeisance, and swallowed her laughter down.

“Was that your girlfriend?” she asked, the laughter bubbling _right_ back up again.

Delphine’s face slowly registered what was going on.

“You- you- _you?_ Did you hear what she said?”

Cosima burst out in laughter again, tears threatening to fall down her face.

“Every word!” she shouted through her mirth, and Delphin groaned, putting her hands on her head.

“Oh no… that is so _embarrassing!_ ”

Cosima tried to stop because she could see Delphine was in some distress, but she found it difficult.

“I’m sorry, I tried not to listen, but… you know… we’re in an _elevator_ …”

Neither of them said anything for a long time.  Finally, Delphine spoke up.

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Huh?”

“I’m not with her or anything.  She’s my friend.  We made a plan to get… one of those… for our friend’s birthday.”

“Oh…” Cosima couldn’t help but stop that triumphant feeling that surged through her body.  _No girlfriend!  Score!  But is she single?  Is she even gay?_

“…You said that those in your lab have fun too… what did you mean?”

Cosima laughed.

“Oh!  Well, whenever you come in to hand the papers to our team manager, we notice that you _never_ go back to your own lab.  You go and have a cigarette break.  We like to see just how long you think you can milk it before you have to return to Leekie and his monster rules under the pretence of explaining the papers and figures to us.”

Before Cosima could register what was happening, Delphine had taken her head in her hands and pressed their lips together.

It shocked Cosima, but she answered in kind, pressing back and wrapping her arms around Delphine’s neck, enjoying how their legs were pressed against each other too, due to their awkward positioning on the floor.

It didn’t take long until Delphine had pulled Cosima far enough away from Scott and then moved to straddle the brunette.  Cosima found that she enjoyed having to stretch her neck up to keep their lips together and their bodies moved in a snaking rhythm, their hands beginning to explore each other’s bodies.  Cosima gasped when Delphine’s hand explored further up, cupping a breast in her slender fingers and soft palm.

Cosima had _no_ idea where this was coming from, but she wasn’t about to stop it, though.

The attendant for the lift was, though.

_*Crrzzzk!* We’ve fixed the problem.  You’ll be on the move in a moment. *Crrzzzk!*_

The two women froze, and realised how foolish what they were doing was.  Scott was lying unconscious next to them!  The elevator jolted back into life.

They stood up and fixed their clothes, making themselves vaguely acceptable to start the day.  Delphine whispered into her ear when they were done.

 _“I have only ever walked the other way so that I could walk_ __back _and see you_ three _times a day, instead of just once, running past me every morning."_

Cosima grinned, and they linked hands.

The doors opened joltingly, and there stood Aldous Leekie.

“Ah, Dr Cormier, Dr Niehaus… and Dr Smith” he spared a glance for Scott, whom Cosima was gently coaxing awake.  “I heard what happened to you, and I had it rectified as quickly as possible.  I hope you’re ready for work.  You’re early, but we have a _lot_ to do.  We’ll get started right away.”

Cosima turned to Delphine and winked.  There was only one thing she _had_ to do, and it certainly wasn’t whatever lay waiting for them in those labs…


End file.
